i get excited when i encounter things that i like & ill be freaking hyped up. but its so dampening when people respond so coldly and dont even bother to patronize. c’mon, abit of patronizing wouldnt hurt right? at least i know ure polite enough though u arent interested & the next time i wouldnt put you in this difficult position.

ugh.spoilt my day.

leave me alone la asshole

A PAIR OF PINK DR MARTENS SHOES!

BUT PINK SHOE, WHY MUST YOU BE 180USD? your friend on sale is only 66 USD 😦

this calls for more contemplation..i hope this temptation will die off quickly cos i really dont wna spend so much on a pair of shoes! my most expensive pair of shoes was my asics sport shoe for $200+ (i bought it for hockey cos i wanted better grip on the pitch & it was already on sale) my next expensive pair of shoes is my onitsuka tiger $150. almost went into cardiac arrest when i paid at the counter..so expensive!

now i need to start brainstorming on reasons to deter me from buying it so i can be more level-headed.

quick update of my uninteresting but kinda contented life:

life has been alright id say,its treating me well. ive been studying better recently and i surprised myself! haha i hadnt had so much drive to study since a long time ago and its good im feeling this “desire?” to wna study again. i hope this consistency will last me throughout the semester and that ill do better so it will be a positive motivation for me to work harder and stop slacking! bf’s been good to me as usual although he gets really annoying sometimes and i get abit frustrated. other than that, he is okay la,close to awesome maybe? haha! that boy has been so busy ever since the semester started :/ he studies hard in school and trains hard for handball. very consistent,diligent, motivated, goal-oriented blablabla….whole time thinking about getting into dean’s list and playing for SUNIG (inter uni handball competition). zzz opposite from his gf aka me. oh btw he will be having his matches next mon,wed and fri at nus handball court and i should most probably be going down to lend him support on all days. wna see my bf play! whee! i hope ntu handball team can make it into first or second place this year 🙂

recently ive been quite upset with a particular individual. so ya know, im quite a tolerant person when it comes to friends. even if i dont like what ure saying or doing, i wont retort and say nasty things just to fight back. ill usually pretend im okay and say something else or at most say “ya ya ya” and ignore the person. im sensitive to people’s feelings so id give them “face” and not humiliate back. but some people think that it is fun to create conversations through sarcasms and insults targeted other people ( in this case, me). i can tolerate it to a certain extent, yes i CAN. but when it gets too much and the person’s character seems to suck as well, thats when i know dude, you are testing my tolerance. so to avoid things from turning nasty when i snap, ive decided to hang out with me,myself and i (thats four of us haha #patheticlonelykid), everywhere and anywhere! im quite happy and ive sort of cooled down (which is good so im further away from snapping) im studying better when im isolated. no friends = no distractions = no need to feel that ive to catch up to other people’s pace.

digress.

some people think that i dont attend lectures = i dont study. fuck you assholes. if attending lectures early in the morning works for you, it doesnt mean that it works equally well for me. and if you attend, it doesnt mean i have to as well. no one is in any position to decide what works best for me and affect my decision to study. if i dont study then too bad for me, but if i study you also dont benefit.  what is your problem? if ure so obedient and attend lectures faithfully, be punctual and do well then by all means, not my problem & i dont give a shit about ur grades. but if ure so good in attending lectures and u do badly plus i hate you, well, sucks to be you, asshole!

okay i suddenly feel very angry.im going to stop here. plus someone who is texting me now is making me frustrated. im gna go, bye

Oh haiiiii everyone! my birthday celebrations are finally all over *heaves a sigh of relief*
I’ve received so much love from everyone over the past few days, especially my bf! He has been of such a great help to my party, renting the karaoke set,choco fondue fountain and running errands for me. I wouldn’t know what to do without him 🙂 michie helped me alotttt too! reminded me to do this do that buy this buy that.phew….see, I would have died if I had to do all this on my own!
Initially I wanted to pay for all my party expenses,honestly..it all summed up to about 1.4k with food,ktv,fondue,extra desserts,deco and all the whatnots.then my bro asked me what I wanted for my birthday the night before my party and I said anything,maybe a tiff and co necklace or jewelry.he replied by saying he wanted to give me money and if 1k was enough.hahaha of course i said yes and chose the latter! dad gave 200bucks and sis paid for all the extra desserts and macaroons ingredients while lil sis spent two nights preparing the macaroons with the rest of family.so more or less my party expenses are covered with contributions from my family.hehe I only paid maybe 200-300 on deco and misc stuff.
on the party day itself,I was busy entertaining my guest and making sure they don’t feel left out. I was v happy a lot of my good friends turned up 🙂 didn’t try any of my food but was delighted when friends told me the food was good and they like the macaroons and fondue. #heartwarming
Presents galore after the party! Going to list down some of my favorite presents in no order of preference
Salvatore ferragamo hairband from bestie
Agnes b ear studs from gf
Toms from gf
Mac makeup from gf
River island leather clutch from hockey babes
Topshop lil red sling bag from Christie
Addidas sportswear from bf jc friends
Sheaffer signature pen from HL
Swatch watch & accessorize bag from uni YEP
hello kitty optical mouse from miah

Bf gave a pair of Chanel classic earrings on the party day and a canvass portrait of us 🙂 I was super happy with the earrings already but yesterday after lights out, he handed me a black bag. Squinted my eyes and it took me like 5seconds to see the white chanel words and I squealed! hehehe the wrapping was super nice with a white flower and ribbon.opened the box with utmost care and saw a chanel classic design necklace! Wooohoooo! Couldn’t contain my excitement and I kept squealing and giggling!!! I have a set now. Been wanting the full set but I cannot ask bf to buy cos it will be expensive :/ but he can always read my mind and know what I like and want.hehehehehehehehehehe! My bf always knows what I want. I will always pretend and say I dont like or don’t want but he will just go ahead and buy it for me! Like when we go for meals in restaurants, I’ll go crazy ordering a lot of food cos they all look so tasty but most of the time I only take small bites and tadahhh I’m full. He knows I can’t finish and he doesnt like to waste food and money, but he will let me be. When I pretend and say I don’t want, he’ll still order cos he knows I’ll like it. teehee my bf so so nice to me, dont be jealous if ur bf sucks or is not even half as awesome as mine! haha! Btw my bf and I never break up before okay. We’ve had heated arguments many times but we are still going strong! Rs grows thru arguments and that’s how we learn more about each other!
okay digress a little too much from my birthday! To sum it all up, I was a happy girl and I am 21 now! I wish I can spend all my birthdays with my good friends, family and definitely my bf every year.then, I’ll be the happiest person on earth!
till then,
muackssss!

whatever i say now is just a catalyst to your anger. the best thing and the only thing i can do is to pretend to be okay.this is really the furthest i can do so please dont ask me to smile or laugh.
i dont like it and i feel sad.but since ur excuse is as such, theres really nothing that i can argue. still,it doesnt mean i can accept. do as you like but you cant stop me from feeling what i feel.
its sad that i think this is a good way to communicate to you.
because i promise not to quarrel with you due to the circumstances ure facing now, i will just keep everything within now. i just beg you to make it easy for me

I will be leaving for my service learning trip to cambodia from 12-27th july. So between now till 12, i have quite a long list of things to do.
Tuitions are top on the list. Recently took up a mdis student for immunology so i got to brush up on my immuno knowledge and spend some time revising. Good thing is that their syllabus appears easier than ntu’s,so hopefully ill be able to teach better.
Dental and facial appts. Btw i think i kinda got conned into signing up for the facial+collagen treatment. :/ idk man..in bio we kinda learn that our body produces less of something if our environment provides it. So now that im infusing collagen into my skin,will my skin eventually lose the ability to synthesise collagen? 4more treatments to go and ill stop this collagen thing.so expensive!
The rest of my days will be spent going to ice cream making workshops, sentosa, roaming the streets of orchard rd and chilling with bf and friends. Mich bday will be coming up soon and after hers will be mine. I need to make some preparations for mine..still undecided on many stuffs.
On a separate note,as much as im lazy to teach during the hols,i hope i can teach more these days so i can have more income.cash outflow seriously exceeding inflow :/ sighs..need USD for cambodia (at least 400 since 4 days of R&R),need $ for tw trip for 2,need $ for bday party. Independent is good but tight on cash is bad. I can do this!

i will miss bf so much when im away 😦 米修米修

Nobody likes to be kept in the dark
Nobody likes half-truth
Nobody likes white lies
Id like to know the truth even if it i might be upset,or angry.whatever it may be,id like to know the truth.
Being truthful builds trust among people and nothing can be more valuable than that. Its something that ive realised as i grew older be it between friends or bgr.
When friends make me their listening ear, im really honoured. I feel happy that they trust me and ill never want to betray it.
I treat people the way i want to be treated. If i treat you like thrash,hell yeah you can do the same to me cos i wouldnt care less. But if i treat you with all my sincerity and heart, id wish you can feel the same too. I feel very sad when people lie to me,hide stuffs from me or tell white lies. Im not an idiot. I can see through stupid lies and inconsistency so please be honest.
its so tiring to doubt and be suspicious. Its not nice to doubt but can i say its inevitable?

Honesty is good. But for assholes out there who are harsh and unforgiving with their words and think that they are always right, you are obviously not displaying honesty. Ure just arrogant and full of yourself. Stay away from me and ill do the same!

This blog entry tells you one of the many things my brain is going through. Because i get upset and annoyed over things like this, i can get stressed easily even when its not exams.

in a committed relationship, everything feels perfect for awhile-you see rainbows and ribbons, have feelings of fluffiness in your tummy & say the cheesiest words. BUT things arent so awesome all the time..there will be fights, arguments, cold wars and tears. it is not always a bed of roses. the feelings of helplessness and frustration during a fight can be overwhelming but despite all the drama, deep inside, you know for sure you still want to be together & you will never let them go.i will be mad, i will cry, i will ignore & i will pout.but at the end of all this, i will still get my kisses, hugs, comforting words and a reassuring smile from him.

two and a half years have passed but there is not a single moment that i will erase. it was all the quarrels & arguments that strengthened the foundations of our relationship and made us learn more about one another.

i know im in love when i still want to stick to him despite knowing that i might get hurt.

i know my bf loves me when:

he saves the last bit of the food for me

he always tells me how beautiful i am

he makes a 1.5hrs journey to my place

he cuddles me to sleep even if he might get a sore shoulder

he thinks my pictures are pretty even though it is hilariously hideous

he downloads korean dramas,taiwan dramas,movies and songs for me even if he doesnt like them

he enjoys listening to my bullshit

he throws silly tantrums when i ignore him

he buys me anything that i like

he can read my mind

my bf likes it when i blog -_-

ive acquainted with the shopping bug again!

for the many past few months, i didnt have the vibe to buy apparels online and in stores. but lately, ive been having the uncontainable urge to spend money to buy stuffs, be it clothes, my instax accessories and what-not. in a span of 2-3 days, ive just purchased 7items?my gosh. this is really going to burn a big hole in my pocket. & now, ive decided to get instax210 as well. the camera itself isnt very costly. together with shipping charges, it is only about a hundred odd. but the films are really going to take a toll on me. it costs approx $1.50 per wide film and $1 per small film.i doubt ill be generous enough to distribute the photos unless there is a special occasion. i need to stock up on the films since bf is going to bring me out to many interesting places this holiday and i foresee we will be snapping alot of pictures. i also need to prepare sufficient films for my 2 week cambodia trip. dizzy! all these are going to cost so much! though ive 4 or 5 boxes of cartoon films at home, i cant bear to open up and use them.bf bought them for me, they are not only precious but expensive too. must use for the correct occasion..

im in the process of hunting for instax accessories-bag,stickers,albums etc. bf bought me an instax 25s bag ❤ its small and handy but i need a larger one that can store films so i can alternate storage with the huge instax 21o and also bring it with me to cambodia.

grr.should stop having these urges.i.cannot.afford.

#disclaimer.okay,i can afford but i dont have the heart to splurge so much.my hard earned cash leh

this post is literally telling you that im torn between spending & saving money.nothing else.byeeeee

woke up to a bad morning when my tonsils felt like they were being pierced and my head felt so “compressed”.yknow,like the golden band on sun wu kong’s head.the feeling is very much like when tang san zang chants, wu kong’s band will contract kind of pain.haha good example right?
I always wish for 3 people to be next to me when im sick.boyfriend,meenah and mummy. 😦 but now meenah and mummy loves my niece more than me and they cannot be bothered about me.so sad.leaves me with only bf who is busy 😦
falling ill at the wrong school week is not nice at all.
btw i figured out my long lost paypal password alr.finally!!now,i just need to wait for my items to arrive smoothly and ill be more confident of making online payments thru credit cards.

can anyone tell me why they look so cute?